im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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