I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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