we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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