I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
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I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
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seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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