how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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