the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
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Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
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I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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