What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
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Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
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how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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