Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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