Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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