You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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