Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize