pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
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He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
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He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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