we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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