dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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