she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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