She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize