Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize