Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
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Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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