How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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