Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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