Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize