your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize