I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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