I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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