I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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