Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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