UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
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The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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