He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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