Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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