it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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