I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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