I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
All the doctor said was why
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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