I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i will never coherently bang her
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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