I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize