The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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