so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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