Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize