The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize