Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize