it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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