just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
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I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
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I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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