So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize