Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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