Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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