Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize