i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize