The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize