do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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