I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize