The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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